Two sides

In 8 weeks we'll be leaving Adelaide to spend some time in QLD with my family before travelling back to Adelaide via Sydney to visit a friend, Horsham to visit Joel's family and maybe stopping by our new house.  The crazy thing is this: we don't know yet where our new house is.  

You heard me.  We're moving out of this house in 8 weeks and we don't yet know where to.  It could be any where in Australia.  Or New Zealand for that matter.  Wherever the presidents of the Lutheran Church of Australia decide is best for Joel to be the pastor - that's where our house is.  I'm imagining it will have a bathroom, a kitchen, a bedroom or two, some lounge room space, maybe bit of a garden and a laundry.  But I don't know and the not knowing is so many words: frustrating, stressful, crazy, draining and just plain hard.  

Comments like - 'you'll know soon enough' and 'a few weeks isn't that long in the scheme of things' are well intentioned and received with some gratitude but I really prefer to hear 'wow, that must suck!'  Because it really does.  On one hand.

On the other hand - not knowing is, not quite fantastic, but ok.  I don't want to leave Adelaide.  I love it here.  This is my home.  My friends are here.  I know people who work in shops, who catch my buses, who live near by.  This is my patch of the world.  The place I met and married my husband.  The place I finally finished a degree.  The place I established relationships.  Where I learnt to drive, finally.  Where I learnt to love Mocha's and Thai and Indian and wine and wineries and wine tours and cheese that smells funny but tastes ok.  It's taken me 5 years  to establish that.  Now we have to go.  

So not knowing where we have to go makes staying and enjoying my last 2 months that much easier, that much more relaxed because if I don't know where I'm going how can I possibly stop being here?  For a while longer I don't have a new home so this can't be my old home.  For a while longer I don't have to worry about where it is I'll have to make new friends so I don't have to think about saying goodbye to my precious tribe here.

For a little while longer - until we know where will live next year - I can be here wholly, in joy, in peace and just a little insane with wondering.

And so continues waiting....


  1. wow, that must suck!

    I think we have time for another winery tour don't we?

  2. I hope I wasn't using too many cliches on you Rach! It does suck and I would hate it if it had happened to me! But I am so hoping and praying everyday that you won't be too far from me...because us girls that will truely miss Adelaide should stick together! But maybe that is just being seriously too optimistic. Maybe we can have art exhibitions together?! We can always dream! I love your blog, I wish I could write like you. Anyway, have a blessed day and when you do finally find out! Please let me know ASAP so I can be as excited as you and scream! Love AnnA xx PS. i wish you could see Lucy right now, she is perched on the highest point of my study, sleeping in a very awkward position! Silly cat!

  3. You have brought tears to my eye Rach, as i may have been one of those people who taught/forced you to eat cheese that smells like old socks. But the wine tours made up for any bad taste.

    I'm praying that you find out sooner rather than later.

    When you hear we can celebrate with some Camembert and Moscato!!

    adi xo

  4. Having been there not so long ago, I understand all too well that it sucks. At least all but one of my class was in the same boat, so we could console each other... but it was still one of the most stressful periods of waiting I can remember going through. The one thing you can be certain of is that God knows where you're going, and he's preparing the right place for you... and you and Joel are going there together (which is one certainty I didn't have)! Yes, it's something of a platitude, I know, but from one who's been in very similar shoes but has also seen the other side, it is also so very true. God is good!
    God give you strength as you wait!

  5. Wow, we have some friends my love.

    It will be hard to leave but these friends are always going to be keen to hear how things are going and when we do catch up (because we will have to!) I'm sure we will have many more good times to share.

    I know it is hard waiting and it will be even harder leaving but God is good and life is an adventure after all, which I am pleased to share with you.



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