I've slept in my new house. Just for one night on our way between Sydney and Horsham - Oh boy, wait until I draw you a map of where we've been!!
First impressions: Not too bad. I can live here (thinking I have a choice is dangerous). I can see how this could be my home for a few years.
First breakdown: About 10 minutes into a dinner I never finished Joel said something really mean and awful and unloving like - "what do you reckon?" - and I cracked it. I found a corner and bawled my eyes out. Sometime after that I left the house and stomped down the street. Then, following the natural rhythm of a tantrum I went back to the house and let Joel try and comfort me - of course that made it worse and I asked if we could leave and sleep somewhere else. I sobbed some more about the injustice of having to go wherever Joel goes and not being able to pick my own house and not being able to renovate it how I want without a committee approving it and on and on.
Some time later I calmed down a little and soon after that the lovely congregation chairman said I could pick paint colour and he'd paint our bedroom for us before we get back. There is not a lot he could've said to give me a smile and hope at that moment but that was it.
Second Impression: It's going to be ok. The changes we want to make are not unreasonable and are sure to be carefully considered. The kitchen might be completely renovated and we can buy a free standing airconditioner for our bedroom. Curtains are easy enough to replace too.
No pictures yet - couldn't quite bring myself to that. But I promise - there will be some in February. And some after every change we make and room we finish!
It's going to be ok.