Worse than a ticking clock

So, like I said, when Joel is away everything seems to just not work how it should.

I go to bed too late.

I eat at weird times.

I forget things.

Things get broken.

Giant spiders invade my personal space and I need to get rescued.

Dead people get left in my garage.

No. Not really.

But my imagination does go into overdrive when he's gone.

There's always something that goes badly when he goes away. I'm alright if I'm the one who is away. Just not the other way around. And I don't imagine it either.

This time it was a drip. I know. A drip. Terrible right?

I'll back track a little for you.

I have a little ticking clock next to my bed. I've had it since year 9. My dad bought it for me because I could never get myself out of bed on time (I told you I wouldn't grow out of that dad!). It has a very, very soft tick-tock. But sometimes it's too loud. Sometimes that tiny, soft little tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick... drives me mad. joel doesn't know what I'm on about because from his side of the bed, and with less than superman strength hearing, he can't hear it all. I can. It makes me edgy. Then, even with my bamboo sleep mask on to block out all the light, I can't get to sleep because there is a tiny little tick, tick, tick, tick keeping me awake. And I have to sleep people. A lot.

Last week I took the battery out. It's having a little time out. Every few months it we need some time out from each other - me and the clock. And now is that time. It shouldn't get noisier. It probably doesn't. Ok. It really doesn't. my hearing just gets really awesome for a bit there. And it's too much.

And then Joel was away. For 2 nights. And it rained. Lots. Except when I was ready to go to bed. Which was later than I should've gone to bed. What happens when it's been raining and then it stops?

The water on the roof drips into the drainpipe.


The drain is right outside my window. Which is right next to my bed. Which is where I like to sleep. With NO NOISE.

And this wasn't a little drip noise like my little tick noise. It was the kind of drip noise you could use as a metronome - for an orchestra. It was LOUD. And I hated it. Viciously. It wasn't even regular.

Night One without Joel: I tossed, turned, fumed, prayed and barely slept.

Night Two without Joel: I tossed, turned, fumed, prayed, put tissues in my ears, a pillow on my head and took action.

At 12:20am after being sure God would hear my plea for sleep and stop the drip I put a jumper on over my pj's, donned my gumboots and stomped outside into the very slight drizzle that was enough to fuel the drip but not enough to stop it dripping and start in pouring.

I kicked the drainpipe. Unfortunately the drainpipe is pretty solid so that didn't help. A bit more of a rattle and an investigation revealed I wouldn't be able to rip the pipe off without serious damage and a few tools. And a lot of trouble from the people who look after the house.

Then I had a brilliant idea. If the drain is blocked up at the top no drips could get in!!

Back inside I found a bundle of rags and a chair. I positioned the chair under the gutter, balled some rags up into something that might block the drain and set about using all the skill I poses getting it into the right place with carefully aimed throws. Not being quite tall enough, and not really possessing many throwing skills I lost one ball rag and took a while to get the other one into the right spot.

Dilema - the ball rag was in the right spot but not jammed into the drain. In my 'planning' I had counted on a super vortex sucking the ball rag into the drain to get it stuck on all sides therefore stopping the water and the drips. A little reality check and a no show of the vortex left me with 2 rag balls stuck in the gutter and a mocking drip, drip, drip.

Solution - an extra long BBQ flippy thing. Well, it would turn out that even with the extra long BBQ flippy thing I still couldn't get the angle right to shove the rags into the drain hole and stop the drip. {Insert bad words here}

30 minutes later I was back in bed with the score being me - 1, vicious, sleep hating drip - 2. I got one point for trying. It gets 2 for actually winning.

More prayer. Some talking to myself to try and drown out the noise. I have no idea what time I actually went to sleep but I do know it was quite some time later. And the drip had stopped. but bizarrely I kept waiting for it to start again. So now I was being kept awake by the silence.
The drip even wins in its absence.

Tonight I will win.

Why? because I bought earplugs. And Joel is back.

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